Hello beautiful humans,
As we reach our final blog exploring co-regulation together, I’m reminded of something I tell parents in my practice: this work isn’t about reaching a destination where everything runs smoothly (if you find that place, please send me the map!). It’s about gathering resources for the ongoing journey of growing together.
Today, I want to share some of my favorite practical resources, and also celebrate how far you’ve already come in these weeks of exploration.
The Everyday Magic of Co-Regulation
One of the most beautiful things about co-regulation is that it doesn’t require special equipment or dedicated “parenting time” (though those calm moments are wonderful when they happen!). Instead, it weaves throughout your everyday interactions.
Here are some simple ways I’ve seen families integrate co-regulation into daily life:
Morning Moments: I remember working with one family who transformed their chaotic mornings by creating a 3-minute connection ritual. The dad shared, “We set our alarm 5 minutes earlier, and now we start with a quick snuggle and chat about one thing we’re looking forward to that day. That tiny shift has changed everything about how we launch into our day.”
Transition Touchpoints: Another parent created what she called “regulation bookends” – brief moments of connection during daily transitions. “When I pick up my son from school, we now have a little ritual of taking three deep breaths together before asking about his day. It helps us both shift gears.”
The Play Connection: I’ve watched even the most dysregulated children find their way back to balance through playful co-regulation:
“Row, row, row your boat” becomes a regulation experience when you’re physically connected, moving rhythmically, and sharing the experience of matching each other.
A game of freeze dance isn’t just fun – it’s actually building the neural pathways for starting and stopping, for feeling sensation in the body, and for shared joy.
A moment of coloring with your tween or teen creates a space for conversations to unfold inviting curiosity, connection, and compassion.
Resources That Have Made a Difference
Over the years, certain resources have so profoundly shaped my understanding and practice that I find myself returning to them again and again:
Books Worth Reading:
- “The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Why I love it: It helps us understand what’s happening in our children’s brain during big emotions, and offers practical tools that honor that development. - “Beyond Behaviors” by Mona Delahooke
Why I love it: It completely transforms how we view “challenging behaviors” – seeing them as communication rather than problems to fix. - “The Way of Play” by Tina Payne Bryson, PhD
Why I love it: It highlights the importance of play and gives beautiful examples of the power of play and how it can be a path to emotional resilience and connection.
A Few Questions to Carry Forward
I invite you to reflect on:
- What co-regulation strategies have you found most natural or effective with your unique child?
- How has focusing on co-regulation shifted your perspective on challenging moments?
- What helps YOU stay regulated during difficult parenting times?
Your reflections aren’t just for you – they become part of the wisdom you carry forward in your parenting journey. I’d love to hear what’s emerged for you if you feel like sharing.
Next blog, we’ll explore “The Polyvagal Perspective” – a fascinating framework that helps us understand how our nervous systems respond to feelings of safety and danger. I’m excited to share how this knowledge can transform your approach to supporting your child through life’s challenges.
Remember, this co-regulation journey is ongoing, and small, consistent shifts in how we respond to our children create lasting change. You don’t have to get it right every time – you just have to keep showing up with an open mind and open heart.
Have a specific challenge or question you’d like addressed in future newsletters? Hit reply and let me know! Your questions help guide our community learning and often remind me that we’re all figuring this out together.
